Undying
by Lisse08
Summary: Yuuri left Shin Makoku, the people he loved and Wolfram years ago. What was the reason behind it...?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Undying **

**Written by Lisse**

_If you do, I swear you'd never be able to see me again! I SWEAR!!" _

The faint memory rippled through his calmed mind. All of a sudden, Wolfram felt the familiar wave of nausea surfaced within him. His brother's words drawn out from his ears, a humming sound replaced. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he excused himself from the meeting and rushed out towards the washroom, ignoring the eyes that were following him.

Why won't it stop?

He slammed the door shut and locked it. The churning in his stomach was making him very uncomfortable. Upon hearing the faint click, he turned around. Bending over the basin, he started vomiting. The acid sour burnt the center of his chest, something he was all too familiar with. He felt his stomach constrict painfully as he retched. Tears were stinging his eyes. As he emptied his stomach, he panted for a few minutes, just watching the whitish liquid that came out from his mouth, pooling in the cold basin.

How pathetic.

Wolfram let the water flow, watched it carried them down into the pipes, swirling in a circle around the black hole, washing away everything. He only wished his memories could be washed down into that void as well. He rinsed his mouth several times before finally raising his head to look at his appearance in the mirror. This was not him.

Water trickled down the bony cheek…

The sunken socket accumulated from the countless restless night. He had thinned a lot compared to two years ago.

And he knew the source behind all this…

Yuuri Shibuya.

Shaking the thoughts away, he splashed more water onto his face. Thinking about him would not help.

'Face the truth, Wolfram.'

No matter what happened, he'll never come back.

**A/N Hi there. It's been quite some time since I last updated my stories. I don't write a lot this year, right? :sigh: **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N Thanks for your reviews.**

"_Is that true?" _

"_So," He didn't turn at all. "You heard about it?"_

_Limbs petrified in place, Wolfram refused to believe what he heard. That question from Yuuri was as good as admitting. It sent a chilling coldness down his back. _

"_Is it?" His voice dropped to a whisper, an inaudible one. _

"_I'm afraid so." _

"_You can't do that. You can't do that to me, Yuuri!" This couldn't be true!_

"_YUURI!" He shouted with a hoarse voice, nearly bursting his lung. If hurting himself would help Yuuri to take pity at him, to at least make him stay for the guilt, he wouldn't mind his pride at all at this moment. _

"_It's been decided you'd be the 28__th__ Maou of Shin Makoku. Even the noble families had agreed with it." _

"_BUT NOT ME!" The blonde cut off. Yuuri sank his head even lower, if possible. Tears were swelling up in his eyes. Didn't this remind him how he left him eight years ago? And now… he was planning to do this to Wolfram all over again? _

"_How about Liesen? How about Greta? You're going to leave them here?" He couldn't believe how calm his voice was on the mention of their children despite the fact that his hands were trembling horribly. "How about US?!" _

"_Wolf." _

_This is the nick Yuuri had grown accustomed to call when they crossed their path in each other life, finally. _

"_How about me?" His voice choked him. No… it's the tears. For so long, he had wished for this love. One that he thought was an unrequited one. He had nearly lost hope, nearly broke off the engagement himself when Yuuri unexpectedly accepted him. It took him another year, for Yuuri to assure him that this love is not grown out of sympathy. And the birth of Liesen was the solid proof of it. Now, it was about to be broken again, like a crack in the wall._

"_I'm sorry." Yuuri whispered. The sudden gush of wind caught Wolfram's attention. He looked back and saw the bright portal opened, right in front of them. _

"_What…?" His voice __dropped to an almost intimate whisper._

"_So, this is it." _

"_NO, YUURI!" Yuuri took a step into it. Wolfram tried advancing, but there seemed to be a protective barrier, preventing him from doing so._

"_YUURI, DON'T GO! If you do, I swear you'd never be able see me again! I SWEAR!!" _

"_I'm sorry. But I can't accept it, I just can't." Yuuri cocked his head around, a smile on the face as his feet stepped into the portal, those words never reached his ears as it closed down around the ex-king. He sank to his feet, tears pouring. The wall crumbled down. _

"_Don't leave me!"_

"Are you alright, Heika?" Surprised, Wolfram stopped to see his brother, Conrad standing outside waiting for him. He straightened himself up a little, just to prove that he was more than fine.

"Yes. How's the meeting going?"

"How do you expect it to go on without the Maou?" Conrad said with a gentle smile.

"Brother, please stop calling me that." Wolfram commented. It reminded him how Yuuri always corrected Conrad for calling him Maou instead of Yuuri. And it killed his heart. Conrad gauged the momentary silence of his king.

"I think you need to see Gisela."

"I'm okay." Wolfram said, trotting back towards the chamber with the soldier following behind.

"But your face…"

Wolfram skidded to a halt in front of the oak door, reeling around so suddenly that Conrad almost collided into him.

"I repeated, Conrad. I'm fine and do not require any medical assistance. Is that clear?"

Silence ensured as Conrad met the determined yet distinguishing emerald light.

"Yes, Heika."

_Why did you leave? _

Xxxx

"Call me when dinner's ready!" Yuuri shouted from above his stairs. Upon receiving a positive reply from his mother, he walked back into his room, locking himself in it. The crimson yellow light spread into his room, lighting up the room. It gave him a strange unexplainable feeling of nostalgic.

He sat down onto the bed, feeling the bouncing against him. From across the bed, he saw the golden sunlight dancing on the photo, it reflected back at him, as if urging him to look at it.

Yuuri brushed his fingers across the glossy photo of the blonde's mischievous smiling face. His heart arched with each touch.

True, he couldn't forget him. But at the same time, beneath those affections, there hidden a feeling called anger. He could not forgive either.

Two months here would mean five years in Shin Makoku. How is everyone doing in Shin Makoku? Liesen, Greta, Conrad… and mostly… Wolfram…

Why did you do that to me…?

He covered his face, tears seeping down.

Xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Papa." Liesen ran forward towards the king. Wolfram smiled and scooped the child up into his arms gracefully. Greta, who has reached her teenage years walked slowly to his side. Her soft curly hair that reached her shoulder bounced gracefully behind her shoulder.

"Good morning, Wolfram." Greta greeted.

"Morning, Greta. You too, Liesen." Patting the child on his back, he carried him into the dining room. His daughter followed suit behind him with silence.

"Papa?" Liesen sensed Wolfram slowed down, or even perhaps stopped in front of it. His small head twisted towards the portrait and Greta followed his gaze. She nearly cringed at it. It was Yuuri's portrait. The boy smiled at the photo innocently before turning back to look at his father. Wolfram gently smiled, as if shrugging it off and continued to walk away.

It was a full five years since Yuuri left Shin Makoku.

Even Liesen could feel the sadness cloud roaming around on his Papa's head sometimes. Greta knew too, this masked smile was not his true self. She knew, the excruciating pain his father hid behind that mask, the fact that Wolfram didn't forget about Yuuri.

Couldn't.

None of them could bring themselves to ask about this. To Wolfram, Yuuri Shibuya has become a hideous scar… a taboo.

Xxxx

"You must have misunderstood something here." Murata said. "Von Bielefeld might have…"

"Don't give me that. He knew, Murata. Wolfram knew what he was doing." He flicked up a finger, his eyes flashing with dangerous flame, his words shooting out like bullets, "Mistake number one, he should have told me about it. He made that decision without telling me, without considering my feelings. How'd you feel if it were you?" He shove off the chance for Murata to answer, he flicked up the second one, parallel with it and continued, "Mistake number two…" Words stuck in his mouth, couldn't get them out.

Murata raised his eyebrows as the answer didn't come out after a full thirty seconds. It was as if the flame that was ignited distinguished suddenly.

"If you can't think of any, then close that mouth."

Yuuri did as he was told, reproachfully, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I don't know how to explain this… but I felt betrayed."

"The problem here is why did von Bielefeld seem to remember nothing about it?" Looking out to see three children playing hide-and-seek, the laughter diminished around their ears, trapped deep in his thoughts. Yuuri's words became indistinct too.

Xxxx

"What's on the schedule today?" The blonde King asked, sitting in his rightful seat, his chin rested on his palm, leaning on the armchair. Gunter raised his head from the white parchment before looking back down. This was the usual routine they were having ever since Wolfram became the king. Unlike the previous Maou, Wolfram is relatively more responsible in his work. He did not attempt to once skip any of the lecture or meeting arranged by the counselor.

"The representatives from Magoui will be paying their visit at 1 this afternoon. We are expecting your presence there. The contract will be signed and..."

"_Don't leave me!"_

A spark in his brain sent the impulse down his nerves.

Nausea, the king had to swallow his own saliva for awhile, trying to keep his breathe steady while holding onto his chest. He was half-aware of that Gunter had stopped talking. The room around him was swaying, turning into the color of bright white. He tried to hold on, not wanting himself to pass out at this moment. Not after he had tried so hard to forget… but it never listened, just like how Yuuri never listened to his pleads back then.

"I'm…" his voice trailed off.

The brightness dimmed before his eyes.

"Wolfram!"

Xxxx

"How's he?"

"I wouldn't say he's completely well." Gisela reported, covering up the quilts back on the king. Wolfram murmured something incoherent in his sleep. Everyone held their stance, watching in silence, fearing for the worst before Wolfram turned mobile again, at which they heaved out a sign of relief.

"What's the diagnosis?" Gwendal cut it short.

"This is not exactly an illness, Your highness. It's the same old thing. I had given him the morphine to calm him down. I can relief the pain physically but I'm afraid I can't cure his insides."

"Not even with Maryoku?"

"A wound in the heart can never be cured by Maryoku."

"Why? I thought he was supposed to have forgotten about him." Conrad noted the anger rising in his brother's tone.

"Have you?" Conrad said. The words staked Gwendal straight into his heart.

The answer was clearly a 'no'. Gwendal twisted his fist. Behind this peaceful sleeping face lied years of self-inflicted pain.

"How long do you plan to torture yourself with this, Wolfram? Haven't you realized yet, that your doings won't bring him back? He wouldn't even know."

"Gwendal."

"I won't forgive him." The elder brother snapped, his voice shook in a mixture of grief and fury. "Never."

Xxxx

"_Wolf?" _

"_Yeah?" Rested in his husband's arm, Wolfram hushed back softly. The day was tiring, the inspection had drained out all his energy. Yuuri should understand that he didn't want any 'activity' going on late at this moment. He felt the hand soothingly stroke his hair. The action relaxed him and he closed his eyes, listening. _

_Yes, he did understand. Sex isn't everything._

"_I love you, my love."_

"_Me too…" Yuuri tightened his embrace. _

"_I always will, Wolf. No one can replace you." _

_The words trailed off from his ears. _

"_Wolf?" He brushed a gentle gesture over his lover's smooth porcelain cheek, a glint of satisfaction on the blonde's face. It drove all uneasy thoughts out from Yuuri's mind. He ran his eyes over his profile. One could never get tired by looking at Wolfram. He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on the sleeping blonde. _

"Yuuri!!" He jerked from his sleep, finding himself staring at the white tile of the ceiling, his sensation, however was still drifting at the border of reality and dream. But the longer he stared, he clearer he was drawn back to present. There were no black onyx orbs. None, it was just a dream.

But why…?

He pushed down the quilt and slowly sat himself up from the bed. Wolfram reached up his face, and felt a single droplet of tear on his face. Dumbstruck, he shifted his eyes from his own hand towards the opened balcony, he jumped and rushed towards it, his heartbeat increased tenfold. Despite the fact that his head was still swaying at the moment, he needed confirmation.

"What are you doing?" The deep solemn voice shook him. He turned, just as his feet were few inches from the balcony.

"Brother."

"What are you doing?" Gwendal repeated his question, walking nearer to his side. His face hardened. No sign of amusement or joke were shown.

"I thought I heard someone." Wolfram replied, his tone weak. The night wind gushed through the door from outside. The soft velvet curtain brushed against his shoulder, he shuddered from the cold.

"There's no one here except me, Wolfram. Go back to sleep."

"But…" he pointed towards the door. "I was sure that…"

"No argument." Startled, Gwendal's tone had made him forgotten that he himself was the king and reserved every right to disobey him, or even more, to punish him for ordering the king. Wolfram obliged, returning to his bed with great reluctance.

He rested in silence as Gwendal crossed the room towards the place where he intended to go. He was half-expecting a scold or even a surprised gasp at that. But it proved to be nothing when Gwendal tucked his head back, shaking his head.

"There's nothing out there, Heika."

The king squeezed his night gown tighter under the quilt.

But he was so sure…

"I'll place guards outside your chamber. Please rest well." With that, he nodded and allowed his brother to leave the room. Pushing down the quilt, he gazed at his own hand again. The warmth on his right hand contrasted with the coldness on his left. And this… He put a finger up to his lips.

The feeling of a phantom lips brushing against his.

Supposed if there was no one here in his room, how'd he explain this?

_Yuuri._

Another stab of nausea knifed through him. He scrambled up from bed, rushing towards the washroom, all the while trying to suppress it before he reached the basin. He retched again, feeling his empty stomach twisting in pain. His heartbeat raced faster.

He hated this.

He hated himself for thinking of the impossible.

He hated himself for even _dreaming_ that Yuuri was here, in Shin Makoku, in their room after all these years.

He slammed his fist into the mirror glass, sending bits and pieces flying in the air. He felt one of them cutting through his skin. A seeping pain resulted, which made him winced. Through the half-hanging mirror, he saw the red dots on his pale face, instantly joined together, filing up the line on the cut flesh. He jerked, noticing his hand that was soaked in red. The hot blood travelled down to the tip of his fingers, dripping in droplets onto the glossy ground. It was beginning to throb, pulsing blood to the wounds. He could feel them trembled.

But nothing, absolutely nothing could be compared when it comes down to the pain insides. It was dark, as if his world could never be bright again. The light had long disappeared together with Yuuri the moment he was gone. No matter how hard he tried to cover it up…

The transparent liquid cascaded his face.

When…?

"Heika!"

He coughed again, irritated to hear the guards outside knocking on his door anxiously. Couldn't they just leave him alone?

"I'm fine!!"

Heart was torn into thousands of pieces, thrown away in countless unknown sides, unable to be re-joined. He cried, the tears dropping unceasingly.

When will he stop craving for him?

Xxxx


End file.
